Helping teenagers through the pandemic
Vendula Loo, November 2021
The environment that teenagers are experiencing today - from the MeToo movement and sexual predation to polarising politics and environmental crises - is vastly different from their parents’. All these impact on how teenagers see the world, and themselves.
With the Covid-19 pandemic, I have seen varying degrees of boredom among teenagers, although studies have found that some boredom can lead to an increase in creativity.
Extended boredom, however, can lead to negative thought process. It can lead to de-motivation when teenagers feel they have nothing much to look forward to.
It is easier for adults to cope with the pandemic because of their life experience. Adults can say: "Fine, things will be different next year”, and hope for better things to come.
For teenagers, though, their span of enthusiasm and life experiences is narrower. During the prolonged pandemic, many have missed the important transition rituals from adolescence to adulthood – from high school parties and graduation to hanging out with friends, and so on.
The lives of teenagers at the moment have narrowed to one that is routine. Every day seems the same. Which exacerbates their sense of listlessness, lack of purpose and de-motivation.
Lifestyle changes during the pandemic have led to sleep disturbances, lack of stimuli, lack of outdoor activities, little privacy, personal conflict at home and mental stress within the family.
The problem arises when teenagers have difficulties figuring out what actually bothers or annoys them. Such unexplained anxiety, if unattended to, could lead teenagers to ruminating and doing things that they are not aware of.
For example in my practice as an addictologist, I have encountered teenagers who disinfect everything. They have a different cover for their mobile phone at home and when they go out.
When they come home, they have their clothes washed immediately, and before they go to bed they have to recite certain incantations so that no family member dies.
Besides such compulsive behaviour, prolonged anxiety can also translate into dietary problems. Some will start to skip certain foods. Others will persist in trying to lose weight.
I have seen increasing tendencies among teenagers towards self-destructive behavior, self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
During the pandemic, the Helpline in Prague registered about a 30 percent increase in calls on domestic violence, personal problems (including mental health) and Internet addiction (including sexual abuse).
According to a survey by the Czech School Inspectorate, 10,000 children did not take part in distance education during the pandemic, which carries wide ramifications on the mental health and development of these children.
This is where parents can play a vital role in helping children tackle their anxieties, their lack of purpose and sense of de-motivation by encouraging their teenagers to talk about their concerns.
Adolescence is a critical stage in life where individual identities are formed, peer groups, life attitudes, values and role models developed.
We all live our lives by wanting to go to a good event, to go on vacation, to enjoy great things and excitement of life once in a while. As a result boredom and de-motivation during a pandemic can, and do, lead to different forms of depression.
Some teenagers fall into depression without even realising the symptoms, including the parents. Sometimes they feel such a decline in their sense of well being that it prevents them from getting out of bed. Parents can learn to be more aware of these early signs.
Parents can start by engaging their children in joint family activities such as playing a board game, go for a walk, or just talk with the children about their day, how they feel, or if they need anything.
Peer groups also act as a safety net. Even though they are in limited contact during the pandemic, teenagers support each other by messaging and chatting online.
And even the fact that they complain to each other about how terrible and difficult life is today, the conversation can help them express their concerns.
As with the adults, it is also important for teenagers how they experience things internally so that there is always a joy of life. It is not meant to be a black and white world in which tasks are only performed mechanically.
The most vulnerable groups are teenagers whose parents are undergoing psychological pressure themselves and do not work to address them.
Parents should also take care of their own mental health and, if they need to, seek professional help both for themselves and their child.
The ball is on the side of the adults. We can try to motivate the children to persevere, to create a regime and stick with it in a disciplined way.
A year from today when the pandemic will come to pass, a sense of normalcy will return for the children and their parents.
Vendula Loo is a psychotherapist and addictologist trained in Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. She currently works with teenagers in Prague, Czech Republic. http://www.vendulaloo.com
(This article was first published in Malaysiakini, Nov 17, 2021)