The pandemic will come to pass, but then what?
Eric Loo, November 2021
Each surge of the coronavirus stirs in me these circular thoughts: Will life be any different months from now? Have I done anything of consequence, however minor, during the prolonged lockdowns?
I’ve spoken with friends and read many stories of how people are living through months of physical isolation and social distancing.
Some relationships are strained being holed up at home with stifling personal space, incompatible needs and mixed expectations. Some are rejuvenated by newfound interests, emotional and intellectual intimacy.
Different communities are coping differently.
The young and old, married and single, employed and retirees, nuclear and extended families – all have their own stories of loss and loneliness, frustration and resentment, tenacity and resilience, revelation and redemption.
From the optimists (this pandemic will soon come to pass) to the doomsayers (societal collapse is imminent) and cynics (after each crisis we will return to the way we were - self-serving, deceitful, manipulative), the hope for a more meaningful post-pandemic life endures.
Yes, the pandemic soon will come to pass.
Eventually we will enter the endemic phase. We will adapt to our post-Covid environs, take the booster shots, wear a stylish mask, and live with Covid like it is the common cold.
Yes, we need to move on. For some grieving the loss of a loved one, there’s no going back.
Sometime, though, the pandemic lockdown should give us pause and ask how we are responding to the ongoing uncertainties.
Or, what can we change - habits, mindsets, attitudes - to redeem strained relationships, to reconnect with loved ones, or to reset one’s life.
A quote from the late Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl’s Man's Search for Meaning, is relevant here: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
What we can’t change, as the Stoics taught thousand of years ago, we need the serenity to accept that stark reality. And, what we can change we need the courage to carry it through.
Underlying this Stoic philosophy is the wisdom to know the difference between what we personally can or can’t change.
What we can’t change is our dreaded date with death. This may not yet cross the developing minds of the younger generation, but for those in their sunset age living through periods of enforced social isolation, that reality becomes clearer and nearer with each passing year.
A Google search on “long term implications of Covid pandemic” lists all sorts of reports on how social isolation, physical distancing and prolonged lockdowns will leave lasting impact on the mental health of the young, the old, and families.
Local media have reported similar cases of mental illness among adolescents in Malaysia during the lockdowns Here’s one take by Channel News Asia on Covid’s impact on families, which extends to other countries.
Vendula Loo, a psychotherapist in the Czech Republic said the pandemic has led to varying degrees of “de-motivation and boredom” among adolescents.
“It is easier for adults to cope with the pandemic because with their life experience adults can say: ‘Fine, next year will be different’,” she said in an email correspondence.
“For young people though, their life experience is narrower. Lockdowns have made them miss all the important life transition rituals - graduation, prom, party, and so on.”
According to a survey by the Czech School Inspectorate, 10,000 children did not take part in online learning at all during the pandemic, which impacts on the mental health and development of these children.
“The lives of teenagers have narrowed down to the reality that every day is the same. As a result teenagers slide into anxiety and depression without even knowing it. They can't name what bothers them or annoys them.
“Whether it is the fear of illness, although the children do not name it this way, it manifests itself in a certain ritual behavior. During a pandemic, tendencies towards self-destructive behavior, self-harm and suicidal thoughts are imminent.”
According to a survey of Australian youths by mental health organisation Headspace, loneliness and social anxiety affect more than half of all young people (54 per cent) from June this year.
Hence, the annual “R U Okay” day on the second Thursday of September when a phone call or a text to someone can make a difference in saving someone’s life.
Notwithstanding the pandemic fatigue caused by the incessant flow of bad news, we continue to search for ways to change for good so as to live a ‘better lifestyle’.
Here, I turn to psychological studies that have long charted the paths to “living a good life” and how one can still feel hopeful in spite of life’s adversities.
Updates on mental health care and wellbeing by the World Health Organisation likewise stress on taking positive approaches to life during a pandemic.
If there’s a brighter lining to the on-and-off lockdowns, it is one that has made us realise that what once were insignificant now carries deeper meanings.
(First published in Malaysiakini.com on September 14, 2021)